@TheScottishChick My legs are dangling if my chair is set to the correct height for the desk, which isn't even set on max height!
When at my desk, I set it to the correct height for comfort and posture- I'm not generally interacting with people while there. When I go into meetings in rooms with adjustable chairs, I'll always raise it to the max- I'm often the only female in there and definitely the smallest! The chairs are always at a wooden table, so people don't see my legs.
When I'm training people, my trainees are always sitting (again, usually all men- salesmen), I make sure I stand all day on day one, by day two I've earned enough respect and I'm in command of the room, so I can sit down at the times we're working in the workbook. I've tried it where I sit on day one and I don't have the same command or respect, it makes a huge difference. I've also learned to use my lower tones as my norm at work.
I had an interesting situation a couple of weeks ago where a couple of things had gone wrong for one of my trainees, before I'd even met him (hotel check in and getting to location issues)- none of them I could have done anything about, but I got the feeling on the phone he blamed me. The following morning, as soon he was introduced to me and we stepped in to shake hands- he eye blocked- closing his eyes for what seemed like a long time! Not only did he probably blame me for those things, but I suspect he also thought- what can she teach me?! I'm female in a male dominated industry, short and I also look a lot younger than I am. I knew I had some work to do to turn this impression around.
This is the great thing about reading nonverbals- you know what you're up against and you can work towards positive outcomes. I did turn it around and at the end of the week he gifted me a thank you present, and said it was the best training he had ever had!...winning!
The age thing is another thing I've always been up against- although it's great to look younger, I feel it makes me look less credible and experienced. It's not as bad now that I'm in my forties, but up to the age of 30, when I was working in creative industries and freelance, when I arrived at places I was working at- someone (who didn't know who I was) would always ask me if I was from college (or even school!) and doing my work experience! This happened all the time. The irony was, that in a lot of those cases I was probably older than the person asking!
I always make sure now, that in my current role (training stereotypical salesmen), during our introductions- I drop in that I've been training for 20 years, to give them an indication that I'm older than I look.
The power gaze has been the hardest thing for me to practice! Still working on that one, but I have the rest down pat!